Everyones having babies, or pregnant but me....

Everywhere I look lately women everywhere seem to be pregnant. Working in a clothes store i must notice this alot more with pregnant women coming in and buying their yet to arrive bundle of joy clothes, and also the parents shopping for their little ones who are all snuggled up in their pram.

You turn on facebook and theres people declaring they are expecting with their first scan photo turning into their profile picture.

I would probaly have not taken any of this in if it hadnt of been for my reocurring brodyness that has appeared over the last couple of months, and due to this all i think i when will it be my turn and why is that not me.

I suppose it all started when one of my friends had their little girl 7 months ago, and spending time with her bundle of joy, holding her in my arms but also seeing how much she had effected my friends life that she now has a piece of her to look after, which i think is amazing.
My other friend then had a baby boy and I have also now got a 2 month old niece.

I have always had a plan since being with James i thought we would buy a house within the next year, i would get engaged by the time i was 22 be married by the time i was 24 and start to make a family by 25. Therefore i didnt even think i would want children for another 4 years, but since spending time with all these babies all i can think of is i want one.

But is my brodyness just my emotions due to spending so much time with babies or is my body really saying i want a baby, and if that wasnt enough to think about am i really ready to have a child of my own.

I feel like i could become a mum now, looking after someone we created, watching them grow and become their own person, but then theres the thoughts that they will change your life for ever- lack of sleep, not being able to do things in your own time and that there is someone depending on you all the time.

But am i too young to be feeling like this, i know my friends are the same age and have children but am i too young to be feeling as brody as i am, that it is effecting my emotions meaning i cry at times for no reason, and babies are always on my mind.

Im not someone who judges women for having children at a young age, as they have so much to deal with and therefore i admire them for what they do.

What i dont understand is why people judge others when they dont no that person. When shopping with my friends and their babys i often push the pram and the amount of stares we get for being young and with babies. But infact we are 21, a full adult, and when we was born our parents were 21-22 and so twenty years ago it was the norm, and there was no one being judged.

I thought i might be able to but the feelings at bay by watching One Born Every Minute a documentary on channel 4, following expectant mothers in their stages of child birth. There i was watching these women screaming in pain, asking for gas, air and drugs to stop the pain but at the end of it seeing the baby in their arms all i could think of was it was worth all the pain in the end so even that put the feelings at bay.


I think i just have to get used to my emotions now, and work out how i really feel and what i want for the future, and for now enjoying being an Auntie.

I suppose it would be rude not to introduce myself.........

As the title suggests im a twentysomething girl, currently 21.
I live in the town of Basildon in the well known county of Essex, and no we're not all typical essex girls, and in fact the few essex girls featured on TV arent what you really find in Essex.

I am a Store Manager for a well known vaule fashion retailer in Wickford, you may have seen the town featured on the recent Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, and those featured have also been in my shop, i dont think this can be called a claim to fame though.

I studied at the King John School in Benfleet, where I studied for five years, and met some amazing people.

I then went onto college to study travel and tourism, which i was sure was to be my career choice, i had plans to become a travel rep, and at the time had an obession that i would one day own a red uniform like in the advert and work for Virgin Airways. However i was a love struck teen at the time so those dreams ended when i thought i was so in love and gave them up for someone i havent seen in two years.
I then went on to apply for jobs in travel agents and when i wasnt getting any job offers and was fed up of refusuals i went to apply for promotion from saturday sales assistant to Assistant Manager, which two years later led me to where I am today.

Fashion wouldnt of been my first choice of career however had always been a topic i enjoyed, I loved textiles at school and always thought i could be a fashion designer until my nan told me one day it was all very good drawing pretty pictures of outfits but i would have to make them as well and that i couldnt just get someone else to make the patterns, so that idea went out the window, unfortunatly after my mum had brought me a sewing machine for my birthday.

I now however love working in the fashion retail business, merchandising is my strongest theres nothing like the buzz i get when i can look at what i have created on the shop floor at the end of the day.

When im not working you will normally find me at home with my boyfriend James, normally snuggled on the sofa watching either CSI or Friends (we own the box set, watch it on E4 and still it never gets boring). That is unless Call Of Duty takes over the TV which is always at least once a day.

And just so i dont miss anyone out i have the most amazing family.

So theres not much more a girl could want.